Family

My family is . . . normal.

I used to think we were dysfunctional - and we are. But I have found that most families are like mine so that makes us normal.

When we were growing up it was either a war zone or we all got along great. But the great memories are the ones that stand out and remain in my mind.

I remember beating up my brother under the kitchen table. Literally. Us three oldest girls beating the hell out of poor Kyle for some imagined infraction. But if someone picked on him or called him names, we beat the hell out that person in defense of our beloved brother.

And when he bounced off the 4-man toboggan and fell face first into a drift and cried, we all rallied around him to warm him up, wipe him off, and make him smile again.

And Kyle always had my back in high school. He is a year younger than me but I always called him my 'big' brother. It helps that he's 6'3" and an ex-football player -- tackle or something like that.

So my niece, his daughter, is fighting terminal cancer and he asked her what she wanted -- anything in the world and he'd get it for her. She wanted a big family Thanksgiving like we used to have at my mom's house.

So Kyle called all of us girls and asked if we could do this for Johnna. Of course we said yes -- at least us three older girls did. What else could you say to your brother when he wants to grant the wish of his dying daughter?

Apparently you can say that you'll see what your plans are for that day. That's what my youngest sister said. And she didn't show.

Come on! This is the dying wish of a young woman, a family member, and you have other plans?!?!?!? I'm sure it wasn't anything that anyone would have held them to if it was explained what was going on. Give me a break. This really irritates me, if you can't tell.

When my nephew committed suicide, my youngest sister needed her family for support. She leaned on us and we shared memories of her son after the funeral. It was like old times.

But apparently she has a short memory because we are an embarrassment to her again. God forbid that someone find out that she's related to us! Nor does she have any family who might need her. For goodness sake, if she couldn't do it for her brother then at least for her niece? Apparently not. She had more important things to do than celebrate Thanksgiving with her dying niece. Sigh.

Okay, off my rant.

We had a great time yesterday. Most of the cousins made it to Girard. Some even traveled over 6 hours to come for the meal. The two cousins in AZ didn't make it but that was understandable. Tara and Joel rearranged their plans with Joel's family to be there for Johnna and for Kyle.

But that's what you do for family.

Johnna was pale and weak and her voice was very thready and thin, but she still has that big laugh of hers that makes you join in with her even if you don't know what the joke is.

But it didn't have the feeling of the old Thanksgivings, at least I didn't think so.

Mostly because we were in a church hall and at small tables that seated only six or eight. The food was served buffet-style (it was GREAT food -- Kyle is a great cook). So the closeness and intimacy that we got from being crowded around the big dining room table was missing.

Too many people cut out early - other obligations (but at least they made the effort). So there was no games being played after the meal, no turkey sandwich rounds, no over-indulging on desserts a second or third time.

But it was still a wonderful, fun time. And the family who made the effort to come, even if it was inconvenient, will be blessed with the memories we created.

And for me that's what families do for each other - create memories.