Giddy

I had my 4-week post-op doctor's appointment yesterday. Okay it was two days early but she was overbooked for Friday due to the upcoming holiday.

So we did x-rays again and the fused joint is slowly filling in and healing. Still no weight-bearing (walking) for at least another two weeks and I'm not getting my hopes set on that as I'm sure we'll err on the side of caution and wait the full eight weeks.

I was curious as to how this time around compared to the first surgery in June - especially since I'm not having any pain and minimal swelling this time around.

So I went back an pulled photos of my foot at the 4-week post-op timeframe.

July 16, 2010

This next one was taken a week later.

July 26, 2010

Compare that to this one taken yesterday morning.

December 29, 2010

What a difference! No wonder it feels so much better this time around.

I am trying not to be hopeful or optimistic as I tend to be a pessimist by nature - preferring to be pleasantly surprised if things work out well and mentally prepared if they don't. But I am giddy with delight with the progress this foot is making. I had to go clear to October 8th to find a shot where my foot looked even close to what I have right now - that was 16 weeks post op!!!

October 8, 2010

And then two weeks later it started looking bad again.

October 23, 2010

Note the lump, bulge, or whatever you want to call it on the side of the foot by the big toe. Trouble is brewing!

And of course the foot when disaster struck  three weeks later . . .

Novemer 11, 2010

I'm hoping and praying that this time it will work out great. I want to get back to my life and my dogs. Time is slipping away and time is not infinite for us mortals!

Pretty Flowers

My doctor and her staff sent me get well flowers after the surgery. I should have taken the picture when they were fresh but just wasn't on the ball that day. They came the Monday after the Friday surgery. Answering the door and taking them from the florist driver was a major accomplishment that day!

Get Well Flowers

There was a pink daisy-like flower in the front but it died a few days ago. The blue carnation needs to come out now. But still a very pretty arrangement and very thoughtful of the doctor and staff. I appreciate them.

Two Weeks Post-Op

Saw the doctor on Saturday for stitch removal. The foot looks great. Better than great. Much better than the first time around. We were trying to figure out why and can only assume that it's because both the bones and the tendon weren't beat up this time around. 

Post Suture Removal

There is very little swelling considering I was on my feet doing grocery shopping for an hour and a half before my appointment. I am able to have it down a bit longer before it starts throbbing.

Better shot of the "oops" stitch

Or at least I was until she took all the stabilizing wrapping off. I'm now just in an Ace bandage and had a rough first night Saturday night. If I had the wrap tight enough to make the joint comfortable and stable, then the compression was too tight on the rest of the foot and it burned and hurt. If I loosened it, then the joint didn't get the support it needed. Finally found a happy medium at about 4:30 am but too late to catch much sleep. The girls get me up at exactly 6:01 am every morning and Sunday morning was no different despite the rough night.

I fought off taking a nap on Sunday afternoon and instead watched the Colts win! So last night I had a great night's sleep, hitting the bed at 10:20 and not waking until about 5:55. Lovely.

Of course sleeping thru the night means I didn't drink enough yesterday since I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom trip. Staying hydrated is a big problem for me - I don't drink enough thru out the day when I just sit around all day. Having bottles of water sitting on the table beside me is a step, but I need to remember to drink them.

The BEST part is that I am now able to move my ankle again! When it first came out of the cast, the ankle was very stiff and not terribly flexible. But with almost constant rotation and flexing, I've really got it back to feeling loose. It still doesn't flex as much as my other foot, but it's close. Feels SO good.

The doctor also wants me to start using my toes to loosen the first joint on my large toe to get it ready for walking in 6 weeks (only 6 more weeks!) but without moving the joint below it that is trying to fuse (or should I say re-fuse?). Tried it on Saturday and wound up with a lot of pain in the fused joint so didn't do any more on Sunday. I talked it over with Mike and we decided that instead of trying to move the large toe with my muscles I'd give the joint a break (ha-ha) and only do manual flexing for a few days to let it heal a bit more. I'll start that today.

I'm pleased to note that my tendon didn't 'fall back' overnight very much. I still have quite a bit of flexation and stretch in it this morning without any warmup or exercise. That's good news! And the ankle is the least swollen I've seen in it in over SIX years!

Minimal Swelling

Seriously, it's been that long that I've been fighting this foot and I've carried some level of swelling in the ankle all that time - sometimes more, sometimes less, but always some swelling. This is a huge step forward! Now we'll see what happens when I start weight-bearing again!

Countdown begins. I am so anixious to get my life back. Six months lost so far and I have another ten weeks to go yet before I can reasonably think about training my dogs again or being back to 'normal' or whatever my new version of normal will be.

Once this bone issue is dealt with, I'm done with the foot. Seriously. I can live with the tendon pain if there is any after I get thru all this. I will live with any pain that remains. My life has been ruled by this foot for far too long. I'll take what I get and go on with my life and my dog training.

One Week Post-Op

So the pain level isn't as bad as it was the first time around. It still throbs if I have it down much more than 10 minutes so that limits my time on the computer since I am not wirelessly connected to the internet and only have a desktop with internet access (yes, I'm still in the stone-ages using dialup).

Here it is at the 3-day post-op dressing change.

 And a surprise - a stitch in the sole of my foot where a tool the doctor was using to finish breaking the bone slipped and came thru from the inside out.

Just a single stitch but she feels bad that it happened.

Apparently the joint didn't completely break; it stayed partially fused on the bottom half of the joint. So she had to break it in order to reset it and fix it. It sure felt like it was completely broken and flopping around in there.

Surgery Is Friday

So in two days I will be once again having surgery on this foot of mine. This will be the last one.

I know I've said that before, but I am serious this time. I'd not be having this one except that the broken bone took the decision out of my hands.

Since I only have internet access at the desktop, I won't be posting for a few weeks, at least not until I can stand to have my foot down for a period of time.

Last surgery in June, it was about a month before I could sit at the computer. I may push that this time as I was going thru serious withdrawal the last time. Wish I could afford an air card for the laptop. It would make my life easier!

Family

My family is . . . normal.

I used to think we were dysfunctional - and we are. But I have found that most families are like mine so that makes us normal.

When we were growing up it was either a war zone or we all got along great. But the great memories are the ones that stand out and remain in my mind.

I remember beating up my brother under the kitchen table. Literally. Us three oldest girls beating the hell out of poor Kyle for some imagined infraction. But if someone picked on him or called him names, we beat the hell out that person in defense of our beloved brother.

And when he bounced off the 4-man toboggan and fell face first into a drift and cried, we all rallied around him to warm him up, wipe him off, and make him smile again.

And Kyle always had my back in high school. He is a year younger than me but I always called him my 'big' brother. It helps that he's 6'3" and an ex-football player -- tackle or something like that.

So my niece, his daughter, is fighting terminal cancer and he asked her what she wanted -- anything in the world and he'd get it for her. She wanted a big family Thanksgiving like we used to have at my mom's house.

So Kyle called all of us girls and asked if we could do this for Johnna. Of course we said yes -- at least us three older girls did. What else could you say to your brother when he wants to grant the wish of his dying daughter?

Apparently you can say that you'll see what your plans are for that day. That's what my youngest sister said. And she didn't show.

Come on! This is the dying wish of a young woman, a family member, and you have other plans?!?!?!? I'm sure it wasn't anything that anyone would have held them to if it was explained what was going on. Give me a break. This really irritates me, if you can't tell.

When my nephew committed suicide, my youngest sister needed her family for support. She leaned on us and we shared memories of her son after the funeral. It was like old times.

But apparently she has a short memory because we are an embarrassment to her again. God forbid that someone find out that she's related to us! Nor does she have any family who might need her. For goodness sake, if she couldn't do it for her brother then at least for her niece? Apparently not. She had more important things to do than celebrate Thanksgiving with her dying niece. Sigh.

Okay, off my rant.

We had a great time yesterday. Most of the cousins made it to Girard. Some even traveled over 6 hours to come for the meal. The two cousins in AZ didn't make it but that was understandable. Tara and Joel rearranged their plans with Joel's family to be there for Johnna and for Kyle.

But that's what you do for family.

Johnna was pale and weak and her voice was very thready and thin, but she still has that big laugh of hers that makes you join in with her even if you don't know what the joke is.

But it didn't have the feeling of the old Thanksgivings, at least I didn't think so.

Mostly because we were in a church hall and at small tables that seated only six or eight. The food was served buffet-style (it was GREAT food -- Kyle is a great cook). So the closeness and intimacy that we got from being crowded around the big dining room table was missing.

Too many people cut out early - other obligations (but at least they made the effort). So there was no games being played after the meal, no turkey sandwich rounds, no over-indulging on desserts a second or third time.

But it was still a wonderful, fun time. And the family who made the effort to come, even if it was inconvenient, will be blessed with the memories we created.

And for me that's what families do for each other - create memories.

Getting Ready

My foot is feeling much better as long as I don't bear weight on the broken joint/bone and I keep it wrapped and in my ortho boot.

I am frantically getting the house ready for Thanksgiving but am unable to do the thorough cleaning that I normally do. Ah well. Today I steam clean the carpets, wash down the refrigerator, and dust. I hate dusting.

I bought a 24# turkey and got it thawed overnight. My 'small' gathering has blossomed into a medium-large gathering with 16 people coming. Which is good. I like big Thanksgiving day gatherings.

My niece got out of the hospital on Sunday after a round of chemo. She's not feeling the best and her lungs are filling with fluid again. The preventative measure they did didn't stop the refilling. Sigh. They did an x-ray and found that the large tumor next to her heart has grown 'significantly'. She is in a lot of pain with the fluid in her lungs and feels like crap due to the chemo. The family gathering on Saturday is still on unless Jo is too sick to attend and enjoy it. It is sounding like she won't make it six months. My heart breaks for her, her twin sister, her brother, and her mom and dad.

My friend was due to get out of the hospital on Saturday after her first round of chemo. I haven't heard from her and I haven't called (bad me) but I've been so busy. I will make time and call her this evening and see how she's feeling. Her mom was driven down from Eau Claire by a friend and they will get to spend the holiday together.

After Thanksgiving I will have a week to get the house ready for Christmas, the tree up and whatever decorating I want to do. I also hope to wrap the gifts that I already have on hand. Most of my shopping will be done on line this year. But then, I usually do most of my shopping on line. But in other years I get to go out and walk the stores and malls just to pick up odds and ends and to enjoy the season. Not this year. Ah well.

My surgery to repair this foot (again) is scheduled for Friday December 3rd. Time is not definite yet as it could be moved up to morning if the plastic surgeon who has that time blocked off doesn't have a procedure to do. But right now it is scheduled for 2:00.

I am not happy about having to do this again. I had sworn I wasn't going to do another surgery on this foot.

But the decision was taken out of my hands.

And the X-rays Showed . . .

. . . a broken bone!

No wonder the foot hurt so much.

That means another surgery to repair the break.

It also explains why my recovery was going no where.

I am doing a round of cephalexin (antibiotics) because the doctor wants to be sure I don't have an infection in there. With the redness and heat, she's not sure, so better to do the 10 days than to lose the foot to a bone infection.

After the 10 days, that would put us right into Thanksgiving week and I host the meal, so we're waiting until the following week to fix this foot -- again.

The pain is relatively gone since she immobilized it with an ace bandage and my ortho boot. Supposed to stay off of it and keep it elevated and iced, but can still do grooming as long as I don't hurt the foot.

So another surgery, whether I like it or not.

PAIN!!!

I am in excrutiation pain right now and have been since yesterday mid-morning.

I don't know what happened. Wednesday I had a different therapist since my gal is out on pregnancy bedrest. This substitute was from another clinic and was picking up Cara's appointments.

Lisa is the third non-regular therapist I've had in the past few weeks. The other two (men) actually helped my situation even if their massages hurt like hell. Lisa concentrated on the toe pain which I thought would be good. She really massaged the foot in different spots than Cara and the guys did. It felt good.

By Thursday morning, there was quite a bit more swelling than usual in and between the big and second toe bones (the long bones of the foot). I noticed as I was talking with a client after she picked up her dog that the foot hurt and was real tight in the shoe. Walking on it was painful, but only in the toe area. I could bear weight on the heel and the side of the foot, just couldn't put any weight on the ball or toes.

After I was finished with grooming for the morning, I went inside and put it up on ice. The skin was hot to touch and so tight with fluid that it was shiny and looked ready to burst. And pain!!! I've not been in that much pain since the first few days after the surgery. Just the weight of the ice pack was causing a lot of pain. And the ice didn't really do much to alleviate the pain.

I kept it up and on ice all afternoon. When it came time to go out and put up the ducks, I couldn't slide my foot into my slip-on boot but finally managed to get my shoe on. I was crying so hard but managed to get the chores done and the foot back up and on ice.

I decided that when my Motrin wore off I would take some Vicadin. Glad I did. It controlled the pain for about 4 hours overnight and I took a second one at five hours and got a second stretch of sleep. I am almost at 5 hours again and will take another one soon. Can't wait.

So I'm going to call the doctor's office and see when she can see me. Hopefully today but I think it's her Friday on the nursing home circuit which means no office hours. But she does have Saturday hours so perhaps then. Got PT this afternoon. They are going to be shocked when they see this foot.

What Can I Say?

So this past weekend my little herding club held its annual trial. Since help is hard to find (most of the members don't want to work the trial, only compete in it), Saturday morning found me trying to finish up the A course for the sheep and the ducks. Walking on uneven ground is still rough on my foot and rough terrain like in the sheep pastures is just TOO much. But someone had to do it. We started 45 minutes late as it was.

After the trial ended on Sunday afternoon (and it was an early, early ending thankfully) we did get a bunch of help tearing down the sheep holding pens while the duck runs were going on, but once again, as soon as the trial ended everyone disappeared and it was up to Peggy (who'd gotten run over by a sheep on Saturday), Lisa and me to haul the wooden panels, metal T-posts, and snow fencing up to the barn. It took us about 90 minutes to finish up and I was home by 6:30 which is the earliest I've been home after that trial. But it could have been sooner if people had stuck around to finish the job. Guess I shouldn't complain as generally we have to tear down the sheep pens ourselves.

Thank doG for little favors and whatever help we got.

So I came home, put my foot up and iced it. I then did an E-stim treatment and fell asleep.

Monday morning found the foot tender and the ankle stiff. I did some stretching and then again put the foot up on ice for the majority of the day until PT. Then my friend, Judy, called and asked if I could come to Peoria and pick up her puppy as she was in the hospital again. So by the time I got home, I was mentally beat and the foot was still tender. More ice and an E-stim treatment.

Tuesday, the toe joint was puffy still and sore. I had a dog to groom and so I put my compression band on the foot to help keep the swelling down and out. By the time I finished and got back inside, the shoe was snug but I had kept most of the fluid out. The ankle, too, was swollen. More ice and rest. Then I had to drive over to meet my other friend who will be caring for the puppy until I have room for her here (if/when Emma finds a home). Again more ice and an E-stim treatment after supper.

The good news is that the tendon itself is not sore at all. Very tight and not accepting stretching but at least it's not sore. I'll take whatever good news I can find.

This morning, the swelling is all but gone from the foot. Still no soreness in the tendon. The fused toe joint is still extremely sore. Looks like I'm going to have to take that steroid injection from the doctor after all. Sigh. I hate needles, especially in my mouth and in my foot.

I have a cocker to groom this morning so we'll see what it looks like after I'm done. I should have time to ice it before I go to PT at 1:00.

At this point, I am no longer hoping for any resolution of this pain. I am resigned to living the rest of my life with some level of pain in this foot. Not what I'd hoped for before the surgery, but an idea that I'm going to have to wrap my head around now. If the injection works to relieve the pain, then perhaps that is what I'll have to do on a continuing basis in order to function better. I'll have to discuss this with the doctor in ten days.

Foot Update

Saw the doctor a week ago. She is not satisfied with my progress or the lack thereof. Go figure. I'm not either.

I am currently not experiencing any pain in either the toe or tendon when at rest. This could be because she insisted I start back on the 800mg of Motrin three times a day. She wants to keep at the inflammation that builds in the tendon. I'm worried a bit about my liver, but she says I should be okay -- that 2400mg is not that much. Sounds like a lot to me.

She did more x-rays to be sure everything was where it should be but found that when she fused the big toe joint she set the toe a bit low of the ball which is what is causing me the pain when I walk. We are currently working on 'tweaking' my orthotic device to try to alleviate this. I think I'm getting close to where it needs to be, but will give it a while to be sure I'm walking properly on it and not compensating.

She loaned me a T.E.N.S. unit which uses electrical stimulation to reduce pain and inflammation and I am doing some at-home treatments along with those I get at PT. The stretching is getting better but still not where I was a month ago. I'm trying to be patient.

The doctor and I spent an hour and a half discussing my foot, the pain and the options for alleviating it. She mentioned surgery again to break and realign the fused joint. She also mentioned unfusing the joint but had to research and see if this has ever been done before. She also wants to to a steroid injection at my next appointment so that I am 'comfortable' for the holidays. Mike will be coming to my next appointment since I am so bad about injections and needles. We'll also discuss the surgical options since he is involved in this as I am. I really don't think I'm up for doing any more surgery.

I hope tweaking the orthotic is the right track here because I don't like the alternatives.

I'm Done

Emotionally and physically I am done with this foot.

I don't know how to handle the constant pain and disappointment that the surgery didn't fix it.

I cry every day during or after my exercises because there is no improvement.

Okay, sometimes there's improvement in one area but then another part backslides or starts hurting worse. I feel like we're chasing it but never catching up. It's frustrating.

My physical therapist is baffled. And the past couple of sessions I've gotten the feeling that she is now just going thru the motions. She's not putting much thought into the therapy because nothing is working. And that bothers me too. I don't feel she should just be going thru the motions.

Last Friday, I saw a different therapist because mine was out with her dying father. He is actually the co-founder and co-owner of the business. He took one look at my file and started asking questions and explaining things and really worked me over good. Actually caused a bit of pain with his massaging but it was what my foot needed as it was actually better over the weekend.

It didn't last, but I thought that maybe we were onto something. But then on Monday, it was back to the 'same old, same old' with my regular therapist. Like I said, I think she's mentally done with me. I may have to change clinics to get someone new to look at this with new eyes.

I see the doctor today for a two week followup on my orthotic devices. They're not working at all to alleviate the pain in my toe joint. In fact, the pain is worse I think. Not good. The doctor, too, is frustrated.

I wish I could truly just say "I'm done" and just live with the foot the way it is. But I can't. I have too much pain. If I compensate for the toe pain by walking on the side of my foot, then my tendon starts screaming. If I compensate for the ankle, the the entire leg and hip start hurting.

I'm in a no-win situation right now. I have to go forward but I can't see anywhere to go.

Ribbon Collection

I have inadvertantly started a 'ribbon collection' and even tho it should be inspiring, it's not.

In a previous post I talked about all the loss of family I've endured in the past 12 years (it's a lot!). Part of it comes as just part of life and the age I've reached. You know what I mean -- I'm 52 so many of my extended family are in their 70s and 80s and have/will reach the end of their time here on Earth.

But the big losses are those endured due to before-their-time illness.

And those have ribbons.

The collection started with pink ribbons in honor of my mother.

Then I added a dark green for organ donation in honor of my dad who is no longer with us. He had a kidney transplant.

My brother's and then my nephew's suicide added two yellow ribbons.

Now I've added a pink & blue ribbon for my niece's pregnancy/infant loss.

And a lavender ribbon for general cancer for both my niece and my friend who are both battling rare muscle cancers.

When will in end?

Here We Go Again

Saw the doctor on Tuesday.

She put me back in PT for four more weeks, mostly to try to get rid of the pain I'm having. We are now doing more massage and ionto-something, it uses electrical stimulation to force dexasone (a steroid) into the inflamed area. Got a bit of short-term relief on Friday after my first session so perhaps it'll work.

She also wants me to discontinue my walks and herding training. I can continue to walk but only in my ortho boot. I haven't been walking yet but probably ought to even tho walking in the boot throws my knee and back out of whack. I'm just too fat and I need to get moving to get rid of the excess weight!

The doctor said that we need to be 'aggressively careful' with the ankle. Kind of a funny term but basically we are still doing all my exercises but then babying it the rest of the time, being careful not to stress it too much. She also said that my ankle was 'unique' i.e. strange, weird, not normal. Also LOTS of ice.

Then my orthotics came in and I saw her again on Saturday. After putting them in my shoes and walking a bit, she asked me how they felt. The right foot (the bad one) felt fine. The big toe wasn't sure it liked it but it's sore and bruised from me walking on it while not aligned properly (hence the orthotics). But the left one threw my foot out in weird directions. I mentioned this and the doctor said that she was doing some corrective measures there too as my left foot is in as bad a shape as my right one was and that it's amazing that it hasn't bothered me yet. I'm thinking 'leave well enough alone!' but hopefully this will prevent the other tendon from tearing and not cause other issues. We'll see.

So anyway, I am to 'ease' into the orthotics -- an hour a day for a couple days, then two hours, etc. Weird feeling going from having my feet settle into one position and then to go back to the 'old' way. Hopefully the orthotics will ease the pain in my fused toe joint as that is what I need from them most.

I am now chronicling each day's pain (or lack of) as it seems like each day a different part hurts. I'll tell PT that the toe feels fine and then see the doctor and it's hurting that day so I mention it. Seems like I'm not telling the truth or something. Thus the 'pain diary' will help them see the big picture.

I return to the doctor in two weeks for a followup.

When It Rains . . .

So I imagine many have experienced this, hence the old saying "when it rains, it pours."

I have experienced this first hand several times in my recent past, clusters of bad news or happenings. In my case it's generally death-related.

And it sucks.

This will be a very depressing entry so I don't blame you if you bail on it now, but I have to vent since it's 'raining' again.

My sister's stepson 'started' the first downpour. He drowned while boating with his parents and young family. They were in the Mississippi River swimming when he suddenly said, "Mom, I can't make it" and went under. His little sister was close to him and she tried to get him to hold on to her. For whatever reason, he didn't/couldn't and he drowned, leaving behind a young wife and two baby girls.

I lost my mother to breast cancer August 9, 1999, after a five-year battle. Not that I wasn't prepared for the eventual outcome. Her type of cancer had a 50/50 survival rate and I, being the pessimist that I am, prepared myself mentally for the worst. I always figure if you're prepared for the worst, then good news is always that much better, while the bad news is eased by not smacking you aside the head with a 2 x 4.

My little sister was an optimist during Mom's illness and her eventual death was a blow she's never recovered from. She has cut herself off from her family almost entirely and that's sad. We all miss her so much. She brought so much to our family.

My little brother, too, was greatly affected my our mother's death. She was his lifeline as he was an alcoholic bipolar. He got married the summer before Mom died. We'd hoped that his bride would give him the support and comfort and understanding that Mom was providing. Unfortunately not as she was too immature and selfish. After Mom died, she demanded that he choose his family (and his support system) or her -- he couldn't have both. The lack of family support and the selfishness of his wife created a situation that he couldn't handle.

He committed suicide June 16, 2003, on his 40th birthday after his wife walked out on him in her continuing power struggle to control his life and cut his family out.

Again, not something I was surprised to hear of, his suicide. I'd been preparing for it since he was in his early twenties. He used to call me when he was in a depressed state, drunk and threatening suicide. But he was reaching out as he really didn't want to do it. We'd be on the phone for hours, until he sobered up and got the emotional support he needed. When his wife had him choose, she cut off that emotional support system. And I blame her for his suicide.

My dad had bad kidneys from an illness in his childhood. Just before Mom died, he had surgery to 'install' a shunt for kidney dialysis and he started soon after her funeral. I went to pick him up and go out to dinner with him once a week after his dialysis. Someone had to be with him until it was certain that his arm had clotted off. (He also suffered from blood clots and was on massive doses of blood thinners which caused him to start gushing blood from the needle holes after dialysis.)

In November 2003, he received a kidney transplant. Everyone thought it was a great idea. Everyone but me. Dad went along for the ride and since his heart wasn't committed to it, he fell into depression shortly after the surgery.

A lot of the depression came from the major change in his routine. Dad liked to sleep in -- most days until almost noon. It didn't help that he stayed up 'til all hours watching stuff he'd taped on two different VCRs. We tried to convince him to either not tape so much or to watch it in the daylight hours by getting up earlier. He was like a baby with his days and nights mixed up. His anti-rejection regime required him to get up by 8:00 am and take his 17 pills with food. If he could have just rolled over and taken them with water while staying in bed, he would have been more compliant.

He also didn't want anyone helping him except 'his girls'. Well, his girls had families, jobs, and a life besides daddy. We tried several times to get someone to clean his house. He managed to make them all quit within a month. We tried to get home health care CNAs in to help him bathe and do his therapy. Nope, no good. I'm sorry, but bathing my father just wasn't a comfortable thing to do. He didn't want his friends coming over to visit. He didn't want to go out to eat with them or go to the theater. He didn't want to cook for himself. It was a mess.

In February, 2004, he suffered a brain bleed. That's what they called it. Never classified it as a stroke or anything like that. It was my day to spend with him and I found a cop and my brother-in-law with him in his living room. He was having trouble recalling things like phone numbers or the emergency call button on the necklace he wore.

He went into the hospital and sunk into a coma for over two weeks. Several times we thought we were going to lose him but since he didn't have a DNR on file, they did everything to save him. My sister, the RN, had his medical power of attorney but she couldn't let him go. They inserted a gastric feeding tube that he promptly and continually pulled out when he finally regain consciousness.

But he wasn't the same man. The bleeding in his brain caused major brain damage. He could no longer communicate. He couldn't swallow to eat. He had to wear a diaper because he had no control over his bodily functions. He couldn't walk and could barely sit up. If his brain was at all aware of his surroundings and of what he couldn't do, he was in Hell. We had to put him in a nursing facility after the hospital would no longer keep him.

That was his worst fear -- being in a nursing home. Thankfully, he didn't last long. He died one morning alone in a hallway in his wheelchair. That was May, 2004.

In the midst of my dad's illness, my 'heart dog' Samantha Jo, my first border collie was diagnosed with lymphosarcoma in February 2004. I decided against chemo for her on various grounds and the prognosis was maybe three months. I got lucky and got almost seven. She suffered a grand mal seizure just before midnight and we put her down early September 2nd. She was not even 8 years old.

Then Labor Day weekend, 2006, my 17 year old nephew came home from school and instead of going to work killed himself in his home. His sister found him. He suffered from depression but seemed to have had a great weekend, going to a Cubs game with his mom and stepdad and then watching his Bears play a preseason game with his dad. No one saw it coming.

Then the rain went away for a while.

But in February of 2008, my niece was diagnosed with a very rare muscle cancer. And rare cancers have a very poor prognosis. She had surgery to remove the mass and surrounding muscle in her leg on August 11th, the anniversary of Mom's funeral. This past June, the cancer returned in her lung. Fortunately they were able to remove it.

Her twin sister (identical) suffered a miscarriage at 10 weeks, and has just suffered another, only this time at 20 weeks. She had to actually deliver the baby. She almost died from complications and is now suffering the loss of her daughter and the possibility that she'll never carry a baby to term. The worst is that it seems that it's her own body that is killing her babies. She has a uterine defect that doesn't allow the placenta to attach firmly enough for blood flow to the fetus. She is very distraught.

And now her twin sister has just been told that she once again has cancer in her lungs, only this time it is inoperable. Her oncologist (cold bastard that he is) came into her hospital room and told her that she should go home and prepare to die, that any experimental treatment that she had been considering was a waste of time. She is only 30 years old.

And now my friend also has a rare muscle cancer and no family support system as she is an only child with only a 90 year old mother. I'm not sure I can go thru another round with cancer, especially another one with a poor prognosis.

God help her, my nieces, my brother, my family, me.

When ir rains, it pours.

Getting Back to "Normal"

So I potentially had my last PT appointment on Friday.

My range of motion is about the same in both ankles and my strength is excellent except when pushing outward against resistance. That is where it still aches after I use it a lot.

The big toe and its fused joint is still swollen, but I am told that may take up to six months or more to reduce. The other toes are nice and slim, thank you very much.

There is still swelling at my heel, both in the back and the outside, and I have a lot of pain in that same area. It feels like I am ripping the tendon when I use it and I am back to short-gaiting since I cannot do a full stride with the roll since it stretches the tendon causing the ripping, tearing pain.

Non-weight bearing the ankle is pretty good. I can rotate it in all directions and do my strengthening exercises with little discomfort and that is only in one exercise. But when I put my (formidable, I admit) weight on it and try to stretch or strengthen I have problems.

I have lost a lot of the range of stretch on the slant board. This is a board set at a 30 degree slant. With my knee straight, I can do all the stretches -- toes forward, toes outward, toes inward. But bend the knee and I can barely get an angle on the ankle. It has really gone into a back-slide of progress.

When I see the doctor next, we'll see what she has to recommend. Probably will have me continue on my own with the at-home exercise program instead of sending me back to PT as there is really nothing more they can do for me as far as pain relief.  Unfortunately I am still having quite a bit of pain upon use of the ankle and the new drug she gave me is totally unhelpful and even the prescription Motrin that used to help is no longer helping much.

I have increased my daily walks with the dogs to twice a day, so I am now getting a mile under my belt, so to speak. It's still at a pretty slow pace, but I am working on the mechanics of properly walking still. The dogs love that we get to walk again.

I am also back to doing herding training with my younger border collie about three times a week. Luckily, I don't have to do a lot of walking on uneven ground with her anymore, but just enough to work the ankle. And of course, I pay for that in the evenings and need to ice the ankle and rest it.

Yesterday, I scooped the dog poop in the yard (which I've been doing about twice a week for the past couple weeks) and then mowed the yard! That's the first time I've done yardwork since before the surgery. Mike didn't take the care I do when he mowed the yard. It just looked sloppy and unkempt all summer. But now, even tho the crabgrass is brown and leaves the yard spotty looking, everything is even and it looks great. Another check on my list back to 'normality'. Next spring I have a bunch of work to do to get the grass back and the weeds and crabgrass gone. But that's for next spring.

I am not happy with the level of discomfort/pain that I endure on a regular basis. Flare ups after heavy use I expect, but if this constant pain is my new normal I might as well not have had the surgery done. It's about the same in the ankle as before the surgery.

Altho . . . the toe joint that had all the arthritis in it is much less painful. More stiff than painful and it is getting better. So I guess the surgery was good for that.

Doctor appointment on Tuesday. We'll see what she says.

OUCH!

That is on so many levels.

I finally caved in and called the doctor about my ingrown nail. On Thursday, she removed the edge of the nail and cleaned out the infection. There was about a quarter inch of nail buried in the flesh. No wonder it hurt! She was amazed at how much there was and yet I hadn't come in sooner. In fact, she pulled out the edge of the nail and started cleaning the infection and found another piece. Then another. And another. There was a LOT of nail buried in my toe. It should feel much better now.

I'm doing Epsom salt soaks twice a day and bandaging it. It feels better to walk on, but is still oozing blood onto my sock after I have had it in the shoe and walking on it. Guess that is to be expected.

But then yesterday after I came home from my Girls' Lunch date, it was aching to the point that I wasn't wanting to put weight on it. It didn't feel any better after I soaked it. And when I got up in the middle of the night, it was pretty ouchy and had oozed more onto my sock. This morning it is still sore and tender. Hm.

I have added a 20 minute half mile walk to my exercises. I am hoping to up it to twice a day but right now my ankle and tendon start screaming at me about an hour or so after I walk. If it subsided by the time I wanted to walk again, I'd do it, but it hasn't so I don't.

Funny how it doesn't hurt while I'm doing the exercise, only afterwards. It makes it hard to determine if I'm doing too much while exercising. This is the same problem I had with the previous two rehabilitations.

I am on a new pain pill that is marketed for arthritis and is a 12 hour dosing. The doctor is so worried about me taking a pill or two as I need it. I prefer the ibuprofen as I take only when needed and can reassess whether I need to take another one. Usually it's just the one or two a day. But this 12 hour dose doesn't give me that option (or at least not as rapidly). She wants me to take two a day for a month, and then the next month one a day, and then go off it. That's fine I guess but I'm not getting the pain relief that I get from the ibuprofen. I'll give it until I see her again, but if I'm not happy with it, I'll get a refill on my ibuprofen (or take massive doses of the OTC form). I just prefer the "as needed" flexibility of the shorter dosage.

The reason I'm adding the walks is that I find my knees, legs, and ankles are still fairly weak. Guess the "use 'em or lose 'em" axiom is correct. So I am using them. I have a dog show in less than three weeks that I want to show my dog in and I have to be able to do at least a slow jog around the ring probably twice, if not more. Plus I agreed to handle a friend's dogs, so that is several jogging requirements. I can do about four steps right now. So I am building up my legs back to where they were before the surgery.

It'll help to get rid of this extra weight I put on durning my down time this summer, too.

So my main issue I think is that the tendon still screams when I use it over the usual about-the-house walking I do. It tightens up, but rest and stretching exercises cures that. Rest cures the screaming, too, but I can't see living my life gimping about for several hours after I use it for just 20 minutes.

I'll discuss this with the PT people tomorrow and with the doctor when I see her again.

New Foot Problems

So now I have a very painful ingrown toenail in the big toe. Yup, the same toe that I had the surgery on.

It is making it extremely difficult to walk normally. Heck, it's almost impossible to walk at all!

I can't put on a shoe without the nail digging into my flesh. I was considering buying new shoes a size or two larger to give me more room in the toe box, but wore Mike's very wide work shoes yesterday for a bit and was no more comfortable than in my own shoes.

I haven't done anything different to that toe than I did before the surgery. All I did was shorten the nail since it had grown out while in the cast. And I did that three or four weeks ago. And it's not too short or anything.

I do have a bit of nail fungus in that nail and it has changed the shape of the nail some. I think that, the realignment of the toe, and the extreme swelling that is still in the foot is what is causing the ingrown nail.

So Monday I will call the doctor to schedule an appointment. I had hoped Epsom salt soaks and the larger shoe would solve this but it hasn't so the doctor will have to take a look. Right now, it is less painful and easier to walk on if I'm out of my shoe so that is what I am doing this weekend.

Geesh.

Small Improvements

I saw the doctor yesterday as a follow-up to the strapping she did two weeks ago, which was to see if an orthotic in my shoe would help the pain I've been having in the ball of the big toe joint.

The answer is yes.

So I was 'casted' for orthotics and they should be in within three weeks, which is when my next appointment is scheduled.

We also discussed the pretty painful heel I get when driving. I cannot rest my foot on my heel while the foot is on the gas pedal. I look forward to places I can use cruise-control so that I can move my weight off my heel. She ordered a silicone heel cup which hopefully will ease some of that sensitivity.

I am still compensating when I walk or stand. She had to keep reminding me to put weight equally on both feet while we stood and talked. It's partially habit but mostly triggered by the discomfort/pain I am still experiencing in the foot.

I am able to to do weight-bearing heel raises but will never have the range of lift of the other foot, even when back to full strength. I still have to think about my mechanics when walking so that I don't automatically roll off the the outside of my foot (which puts pressure and torque on the tendon). I am a work in progress on coming down stairs - still a lot of pain in the tendon and toe areas, but again those supposedly will work themselves out over time with use.

I have two weeks of PT left scheduled and the doctor said not to schedule any more, as I should be able to be discharged as of our next appointment on the 12th. She also said that that appointment would mark the end of the treatment protocol for the surgery.

Hm-m-m. I'm still unable to walk without pain, the foot and ankle are still swollen and balloon up whenever I'm on my feet for more than an hour, and the fused joint and toe bones are still very painful. This is the end of treatment? I'm supposed to be able to go on and function normally in my life like this? Hm-m-m.

Hopefully, the orthotic devices that go in my shoes will help with a lot of this. Hopefully.

I'm not happy with the severe swelling and random pain that I still have in the heel area that occurs with any usage. We just started ultrasound therapy on that to see if we can work that out. Luckily, I'll be able to get all six treatments in before I run out of PT appointments.

I'm pretty happy with where the tendon is. As far as recovery, it's pretty much on track and seems to be improving. Some backsliding occurs but the fact that I was able to go to a dog show this past weekend and compete and not have any major repercussions is good (altho I didn't walk 'properly' when in the ring since I wanted not to have to think about that while handling my dog).

Even better is that I was on it all day Tuesday when my friend came out to work ducks and it got tired but never sore. It didn't even flare up or stiffen up that evening after I sat down for the day. So that is a huge sign of improvement.

But then on Wednesday it was more swollen than it had ever been (and still is pretty puffy even now). And this morning it is kinda ouchy and stiff. Not like it has been but I sure can't do my PT exercises right now.

I guess I'm hesitant to say that I feel I'm ready to be discharged. I just kinda feel like I'm being tossed out to sea with a very small life preserver and will have to sink or swim on my own.

I will continue with my exercises here at home and finish up my scheduled PT. Hopefully the orthotics and time will fix my other issues. And keep an open mind until I see the doctor in two and a half weeks. A lot can change in that time. I'm hoping so anyway.

Roller Coaster Emotions

Okay, so I know my foot is making progress.

But I am still having problems that prevent me from moving forward at the speed I think I should be. I know that I need to adjust my mental expectations and when I do, it lasts for a day or two, or until my foot/toe hurts so much that I can't do my exercises.

And then I get depressed again.

Really. This is driving me crazy.

I'm sitting here crying while typing this.

The strapping that the doctor put on my foot last Thursday helped with the pain. But it came off on Monday. So the physical therapist taped it for me but it just didn't work like the doctor's taping. I wasn't experiencing the pain in the ball of the toe but it was cutting into the foot at two places which made it uncomfortable/painful. The toe also hurt a lot. So I took it off last night, taking some skin along with it. That's some strong tape! My toe is hurting again -- still. It was hurting even when it was taped yesterday. Sigh.

I can logically see that the foot is making progress even if it's not at the rate I want. I can deal with that. Yes, I get impatient when I take two steps forward and then the foot rebels and slides back a step or more. But I need to focus on what I CAN do now that I couldn't do a month ago.

I can get my foot in a shoe. I can walk without crutches. Some days I can walk without a hobble to my step (other days not so much). I have complete range of flexibility equal to my other foot, non-weight-bearing. I can curl my toes and pick up a towel with them. I can do modified heel raises, squats, and stand on one foot -- all weight-bearing! I can kinda run (which is all I need for the dog trials I'm going to be competing in this weekend).

But there is a lot that I can't do yet.

I won't list them as I don't want to dwell on them, but walking without pain is #1 on that list.

I know that it's going to take time and perseverance.

I have to stay focused on the prize, even if it's not easily attainable.

I have to work thru the down and painful times to get where I want to be on the other side of the pain.

But I'm TIRED of pain. It really wears on one, both physically and mentally.

PT Continues

So the doctor wasn't pleased that I was still unable to walk on the bones of the foot.

She was pleased with the incisions and the progress of the tendon. But then, I'm satisfied with the tendon's progress.

Yes, I tend to over-do it when doing my exercises. I had a good talk with Don at therapy on Wednesday while doing the assessment. It turns out that my understanding of what a 'stretch' on the tendon was actually an over-stretching of the tendon. In other words, I'm causing the tightening and the pain and swelling in the tendon by putting too much of a pull during my stretching exercises.

For me, stretch means that I should feel a pull in the tendon, kinda like when you do a good stretch after sitting too long -- a tingly, good feeling. But for rehab purposes I shouldn't be getting it to the tingly pull as that is, according to Don, actually minutely tearing the strands of the tendon. Normally that would be okay as a healthy tendon will repair those tears and become stronger. But at this point, any tearing or stressing the tendon to that point is detrimental. The tendon tries to protect itself from further injury (i.e. the surgery) by 'freezing up' and preventing movement.

And since I have such a high threshold for pain, I don't realize that I am putting that much stress on the tendon. I've been stretching until I feel 'a stretch'. Apparently that is more than the tendon can take even tho I'm not feeling PAIN.

Until later when it freezes up and I can't move.

So lesson learned. Hopefully, I'll make more progress on the ankle from here on out.

They also added some new exercises. So far the only weight-bearing exercises have been walking and the slant board stretching. All the other strengthening exercises have been non-weight-bearing flexibility and resistance exercises. So now I am doing squats, balancing on one foot, and heel raises while standing. Cool. The ankle will strengthen with those as long as I'm careful. I've been adding those randomly for the past week or so and so am not throwing something real hard into the mix all of a sudden.

But my exercise time has now doubled. It seems that all I do is work and do exercises and PT. Three times a day for about a half hour each time seems to take a lot out of your day.

But the toe joint and foot is still an issue. The doctor watched me walk, or at least attempt to, and decided that she needed to adjust the alignment of the toe and joint. Right now the fused joint is hitting before the toe and they should be hitting at the same time.

So she did a 'strapping' of the foot, which is just a tape job, and moved the toe down just a bit. Voilà! the foot feels much better. She said that we will try the strapping for a bit and see if it helps, and if it does then will get an orthotic to position the toe and joint.

The big toe is also rolling inward, kinda like it would if I had a bunion on the joint. But that's not the case, somehow the toe is shifting. I am using a toe-spacer right now but don't know if that is the long-term solution. The doctor made noises about going back in and doing some realigning. Gotta say this -- she is dreaming. I'm not doing another surgery on this foot, especially 'realigning', as that means bone work and crutches and Mike doing chores again. Ain't gonna happen.

I go back in two weeks to assess the strapping work and probably get fitted for an orthotic. I'm hoping that fixes the pain issue. I'm continuing PT for another four weeks. I'm hoping when I see her again on the 23rd that there is a lot of progress to report.

But at least I'm not sighing and sniffling today!

12 Weeks

So yesterday was 12-weeks post-op. This is when my surgeon said that she expected me to be back to normal.

Guess she expected wrong.

While the swelling is 96% gone (really only swells if I do too much) and the incisions are healed nicely, the foot itself is still painful to walk on and I am still not able to stride normally. The tendon is good some days and not so good other days, again depending on how much and what I do that day.

Flexibility comes and goes in the tendon. I have more range of motion if I'm easy on it and do gentle stretching exercises. But as soon as I go to full weight-bearing stretches, it gets tender, sore, stiff, and I am unable to do the stretches. Hm-m-m. Kinda like what happened with the previous (three) surgeries.

Time will get the tendon back to being pain-free but the physical therapists tend to be aggressive with their treatment protocol and the darn thing has to fall apart and get real inflamed before they back off and go a bit easier.

But the foot is what has me really depressed. Now I've never had broken bones so I thought that as soon as it was fully healed and the cast came off that I'd be painless. Wrong. Or maybe it's just me. But the the foot, which includes all the toe bones and the joint that was fused, are still extremely painful when I try to bear weight on them. And walking normally? OUCH! Again, not just the fused joint which is causing my big toe to have to learn to bend differently, but all the toe bones hurt.

I'm assuming it's because everything has been rearranged in there and has to learn to work in its new place, but pu-leeze, it should be done by now! I've been weight-bearing for 4 weeks now and there is little difference in the pain level over those 4 weeks.

And the level of pain in the fused toe joint is no different than before when it was frozen with arthritis and couldn't move. I feel like I'm no better off having the joint cleaned and fused than I was with the arthritis.

Other than being way poorer due to paying the surgery bills.

I am diligent about doing my exercises here at home, even to the point of crying after doing them because of the pain. I do stop when I experience pain as the therapists say that "pain is no gain". They don't want you injuring the injury, only stretching and strengthening it, so to do only what is painless. Problem is that doing the exercises generally doesn't cause pain, but as the leg rests afterwards, the pain starts and increases, then I can't do the second or third series of exercises that day. It's a vicious cycle.

I am not sure that the joint-fusing, foot rebuilding part of the surgery (which was done to prevent the tendon from re-rupturing again) was the right thing to do. I feel I'm no better off now than I was before the surgery.

I am be 'assessed' at PT today and have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She was planning to discharge me from PT and from seeing her post-operatively, but not with the pain I'm still experiencing. We'll see what the doctor says tomorrow.

Sigh. Sniffle. Sigh.

Getting Better

I got released to wean my foot out of the ortho boot as long as I walk only in my shoe, not barefoot.

Walking in the shoe which is my PT exercises has really helped bring the swelling down in my foot and toes. There is still some swelling and it gets worse when I'm on it a long time like when I groom a dog. But it goes down pretty quickly when elevated for a bit and doesn't reoccur when I move around again. I am still grooming in the ortho boot as it gives my weak ankle support over the four hours I'm standing on it.

Looking pretty good!

I am having more stiffness, tightening and pain in the tendon now that I'm using it more. I'm hoping they will address that in PT since I've mentioned it once already and will again today.

Side-by-side

So there is still some swelling since the foot is pinker than my 'good' one. But it IS getting better! Yesterday I took the dogs to a fun match for their first training in 10 weeks. It was fun!

Wrinkles!

Who would have thought that wrinkles were something to get excited about?

Sunday, I was sitting with my foot up as I watched the darn Cubs beat up on my beloved Cardinals when I noticed that there were vertical wrinkles in my big toe. I kept looking at it trying to figure out why I had wrinkles on my toe.

Wrinkles!

Then it hit me -- with the toe so obscenely swollen the skin was stretched to its fullest for 8+ weeks. And the swelling had gone down! So my stretched skin was wrinkly. It didn't last long. As soon as I put the foot down it ballooned back up but at least I know it can get better. A flickering light in the darkness.

Swelling is way down

Tough Love

My foot is not liking physical therapy.

I've been three times now. Monday was just measurements and assessment and they sent me home with some exercises to do, which I had already been doing. I didn't have the range of motion I thought I had but it's better than they assumed I would have. So that's a good thing to surprise your therapist!

Wednesday we actually got down to work but again was not much more than the exercises I was doing on my own. We did try to get my shoe on the foot but the toe just wasn't ready to accept being squeezed ito that little area. Mostly it was the angle of the shoe vs the angle of my toe at that point in time. So my 'homework' was to get my foot in my shoe by Friday's appointment.

The result of too much walking

So like a good girl, I went home and worked at wedging my obscenely swollen foot into my (wide-width) shoe. I got it in after some work but was only able to keep it on for about two minutes. But then later in the evening I got it on again and kept it on for about 5 minutes. That was enough for me.

Thursday was much better. I got the shoe on my foot much easier and was able to keep it on for an extended period while I sat in my recliner. By the end of the day I was able to put the shoe on (not easily but getting it on) and sit with my foot on the floor with normal weight on it and it felt good.

Friday, I went back to work after eight weeks off and had two little dogs to groom but was able to sit while grooming them. I got done about 11:30 and was able to shower and get my foot up to rest before subjecting it to PT at 1:40.

At PT, I did some "walking". Actually it was more like shifting of weight on and off the foot and it was hard! I was so beat by the time I got home, with a headache and an achy, swollen foot. I had picked up something for supper so I could just go put my foot up and ice it. It took almost two hours of icing before it felt better.

Here are some pictures of my foot taken last weekend after I soaked it to get all the dead skin off of it. I had to wait for help to clip my nails but got that done later so my foot looks better than even these pix. But the swelling is still about what I have going on right now.

Swollen piggies

Doesn't the incision look great?

I'm Walking Again . . .

 . . sorta.

My foot is really not liking being walked on right now. This new ortho boot seems to throw my foot/weight back onto the heel instead of evenly from toe to heel. So my heel is bearing a lot of weight and is very tired and sore while my toes and ball of foot are getting very little use. I will put up with it for today, concentrating on forcing myself to walk with a heel to toe roll. Tomorrow I have my first PT appointment and will discuss my problems with them.

I've found that if I use my old ortho boot, I get better heel to toe roll, but that boot is tall and hot (and starting to fall apart), which is why I took the new one from the doctor - it is only mid-shin high so is a bit cooler and less cumbersome. So perhaps it's a boot issue, perhaps it's just me favoring my broken bones still. PT will sort it out.

So I'm off two crutches now. I am still using one when my foot gets tired or I'm on uneven ground so I can take some of the weight off of the bad foot but still use it. Lots of ice when it starts hurting. I know I have to ease into this walking stuff but Lisa stopped by yesterday with her new red puppy(!) and I really overdid it, especially for the first day.

So today is a day of conservative use. Cardinal baseball on over-the-air TV today so we get to watch. Supposed to start getting miserable again with heat and humidity. So I have lots of reasons to take it easy today.

Mike is hoping I can get mobile enough to start doing duck chores soon. I think by the end of the week I'll be able to do everything except carry the buckets of water to the pen and he can do that when he gets home after work and I can dip from them to fill drinking bowls. Luckily the swimming pool has a hose from the well right near it so I don't have to haul water for that.

I'm still sleeping downstairs for now. Getting down my narrow, steep stairway in an ortho boot is just asking for a broken neck. And sleeping in the boot so I can make my mid-night trek to the bathroom is also out of the question in this heat and humidity. So if I stay downstairs I can use my crutches to get to the bathroom during the night and be a bit more comfortable.

So we'll see what PT brings. And I have to remember not to push it. Conservative is my motto for now!

Looking Good!

My ankle incision stopped seeping.

On Tuesday, I took off the wrap to check and change the gauze pad and it was clean! And nothing since then. So on Saturday, the stitches will come out and I'll get orders to start PT. I already have an appointment made for Monday morning. I didn't want to wait until they called me after getting the orders from the doctor. And since I've been there before the surgery, I figured I'd just get the ball rolling.

T

Taken this morning at 7am

The knitting bones are still tender/sore and have a lot of swelling in them. That's going to be the biggest holdup of my recovery. My ankle is weak but has probably 90% flexiblity back. We'll see how PT helps with that.
.

A Hopeful Time Line

On Saturday, the doctor gave me her thoughts on my recovery time line.

She is figuring that I'll be walking (starting next Saturday) in the ortho boot for about four weeks and back in a regular shoe by 12 weeks post-op. That would be great as 12 weeks is Sept. 15th and I have dog show on Sept 18 & 19. I can very well show in the ortho boot but it would be much easier in a regular shoe.

So I will be a good girl and do my PT exercises like I'm supposed to so that I can be on track with the doctor's time line.

Net Yet

The doctor decided to go conservative on me and make me wait to walk for another week. The spot on my heel is still seeping a bit so she is leaving the stitches in one more week and since I can't start physical therapy because of that, she decided to give my bones another week to continue to knit. Sigh. But she's sure that I'll be able to start PT and start walking next week.

I think Mike is more bummed than me. His patience is gone and he really wants to not have to do chores and cook and do laundry and clean (no, wait, he doesn't clean as my house can attest). He is getting real hard to live with, but I can't blame him. They're not his ducks and dogs.

So another seven days. . .

Time Drags

So I went to the doctor for a recheck of my stitches on the back of the heel. She was pleased (altho I've never seen her upset -- she's the most upbeat doctor I've ever met) and still thought that she'd be removing the stitches the following visit.

I had had a Thursday appointment but they rescheduled me to Friday morning which was okay as it was a hot day and getting all our running around done earlier rather than in the heat of the afternoon was good. My sister-in-law, Pat, was my driver and she, along with her granddaughter, Dallas, got me to the doctor and then went with me to get some groceries. It was wonderful to be out and about. As much as I hate grocery shopping, it was NICE to be somewhere other than the house or the car.

So my next appointment is Saturday. Sigh. Was hoping for Thursday as that is two days earlier for me to walk but then it would have to be late afternoon after Mike got off work. And the last time we had that slot, we didn't get out of there until after 6:15 pm. Not good. So the Saturday morning is better for Mike - kinda. And maybe better for me as the heel incision is still seeping a little bit every day and the foot is still way swollen -- especially the big toe. It can't swell any more without splitting the skin. I don't know why it's still so swollen. The doctor still didn't seem worried but I am. I want to WALK!!!

We'll see what Saturday brings.

I took these just this morning.

Looking a bit better than last week.

Still lots of swelling

Side view of the very swollen toe and joint.

The skin is peeling from being stretched and dry.

Boy I need a pedicure!

Lots of swelling in those little piggies.